Unpronounceable
UTOPIA WITH AN ATTITUDE
An interstellar romp, this utopia with attitude follows Rose Delancy, a disgruntled Jersey waitress picked by lottery to represent the Earth on a planet of peaceful, pink blobs. Rose settles in and starts teaching the natives all about humans with the help of Hollywood movies, junk food, and the occasional bout of PMS.
“Reminiscent of the space fantasies of Douglas Adams and Kurt Vonnegut, this improbable tale spoofs popular star-trooper fiction, as well as the vain politics of both Washington and Hollywood.”
Unpronounceable Excerpts
“I wouldn’t never have left New Jersey, let alone the planet Earth, if it wasn’t for my sister, Alice, who you should know up front got all the genetic engineering bonus points my parents was assigned, leaving me with whatever they could come up naturally, sperm-and-eggwise.”
Family: Why a Jersey Girl Needs to Travel
I’m thinking anyplace still in the same solar system with Alice is not far enough to count as going anywhere, and this is why I never made the effort. Unpronounceable would put over a thousand light-years of interstellar void between me and my sister. I announced my decision to apply right after the minestrone.
Diplomacy: What to do when the President asks if you love your country.
Do I tell the President I couldn’t love a place that was stupid enough to elect him? Okay, so they never proved the graft, but the massacre and pillage of dissidents in a minor South American dictator’s democratic stronghold was there for everybody to see. Fortunately for him, Americans actually believe a person who waves the flag while getting rich robbing foreigners and political losers when he whines that he has just been given a raw deal by the press. Me, I buried the family silver the day he took office. So I huff and puff and beg the question, “What a thing to ask a girl from New Jersey!”