Witches! Pirates! Monsters! vs A kitchen Wench with a knack for knives

A village kitchen girl has few choices in life until a slip of her knife causes invading barbarian pirates to think she’s a witch. They kidnap her to get the “witch” bounty offered by their home coven. She goes willingly enough with only the clothes on her back and her favorite boning knife.

Dubbed “Knife Witch’ by the barbarian captain, Volzh, and his crew, she saves the ship –twice–thanks to what they insist is magic and what she protests is nothing more than an itchy disposition and her mad skills at carving and filleting. They start to think of her as “their” witch and she starts feeling responsible for them as if she actually had the power to protect them.

Which is not what she wants. She doesn’t see herself as capable of defeating anything larger than a chicken headed for the soup pot. That she manages to skewer a kraken before it sinks them all does not help her case. Side note: the kraken is telepathic and develops an amorous fascination with her.

Claiming she’s just a kitchen girl, she goes on to wreak havoc with the evil coven, an even evil-er Empire, the kraken determined to marry her, a world-breaking volcano, and the gods themselves.

Be as must be.